


Drunken Confessions

by Takada_Saiko



Series: At the End of All the Lies [6]
Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Drunk Ressler, F/M, Honest Jacob, Honest Ressler, Keen2, Ressler-Liz-Jacob love triangle ish, way too much honesty going around for our boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 18:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4676192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takada_Saiko/pseuds/Takada_Saiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jacob thought it'd be entertaining to see Ressler drunk. Well, even he miscalculates every now and again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drunken Confessions

**Drunken Confessions**

It was supposed to be a night off. For Jacob, that had meant a night in at either his or Liz's place with dinner, a bottle of wine, and time for them, so when he had asked her what she wanted for dinner and she had kissed him and told him that she had a girls' night out planned, Jacob couldn't help but feel a little hurt. She had smiled that smile that said she was up to something and told him that he had plans to, if he knew it or not. Aram had organized a guys' night at the bar and, if Jacob was going to be a part of the team, he needed to learn to get along with them outside of work as well, and no, his little gaming project with Aram didn't count.

So Jacob had made the most of it. He had waited until Ressler had gotten up to go to the bar before ordering the whiskey shots and hadn't let the newly appointed assistant director turn it down when one was set in front of him. It was a night off, and they were going to treat it that way.

Aram, to his credit, lasted through two shots and stopped, mumbling something about laundry or some other fairly thin excuse. Jacob knocked back his third, watching Ressler match him. "I got the impression you weren't much of a drinker," Jacob said, setting the empty glass down.

"I don't have a problem keeping up with you," Ressler answered almost defensively. His voice was solid enough, but Jacob could hear the edges of the words fade out into the earliest sign of the man's limits.

"Yeah? I've developed a pretty good tolerance over the years."

Ressler snorted. "Can't spill all your secrets."

"Damn right," the younger man chuckled, motioning to the waitress. He would have a nice buzz going by the end of it, but he thought he had earned it with having to work with Donald Ressler. He hadn't minded the idea of hanging out with Aram, but maybe all the blond needed was a few drinks to loosen up. Jacob was happy to oblige.

The drinks - not shots this time, but glasses of whisky over ice - were set down and Ressler reached for his. "I have to admit I've been a little impressed," he said, sipping at it. "I thought you'd screw something up before we actually got you in the field. You've actually been pretty helpful so far."

Ressler was further gone than he thought. Jacob made a mental note to get him a cab before he left that evening. Liz would kill him if he got him drunk and then just left him. "Well you didn't hire me to sit around and play desk jockey," he said after a moment of thought.

"I know why you're here, and it's not because you want to work on the right side of the law."

Jacob shrugged. "The side never really mattered a lot to me," he answered.

"But she does."

That caused the younger man to pause. Ressler never broached the subject of Jacob and Liz's relationship. He seemed to prefer to ignore it more than anything, but apparently whiskey opened him up a little. The former operative wasn't sure he was comfortable with that.

"I don't get it, Phelps. You lied to her for... What? Three years?"

"Something like that," Jacob said softly. It was closer to four if they went back to the point that they met, but hey, no need to make the conversation even more uncomfortable.

"Then you two went back and forth like you were in competition to see which one could hurt each other worse-"

"I think it's time for the check," Jacob mumbled, knocking back the rest of his drink and motioning over to the waitress. He handed her his card and turned his attention back to Ressler.

"What the hell brought you back after all of that?"

"She was about to go to prison for something she didn't do."

"And you care that someone takes the fall for you?"

"I don't know what you want me to say. I love the woman. Thank you," he offered as the waitress handed him the check and he signed for it. "Let's call you a cab."

"Look at that. We found a subject Jacob Phelps won't talk about," Ressler chuckled.

"Not with you."

"Why not?"

Jacob bristled. "Because it's none of your business."

Ressler stood, not as steady as Jacob had hoped or even as the man himself seemed to think he would be. He frowned as he balanced himself, glaring at the younger man. "Because you're using her."

"Seriously? After everything?" Jacob snapped, hedging on feeling offended.

"No, probably not," Ressler relented, his voice going flat like it was a truth that he couldn't deny anymore. Jacob loved Liz. He would give anything for her. "That doesn't mean you're good for her."

Jacob pulled his phone out and started dialing in the number for a cab to take the intoxicated assistant director home. "Yeah, and who are you to decide?"

"Someone better."

Jacob stopped, the phone ringing in his ear and he ended the call. "What is with you people?" he growled, the last drink catching up with him and he turned his own glare on the man that was technically his boss. "You and Reddington think you know what's best for Liz. It's _her_ choice."

"You manipulated her the first time."

"Not for that. Not for the way she feels about me. You know what? You're a big boy. Get your own cab."

Jacob was halfway out of the seating area by the time he realized Ressler was in his heals. He started to speed up his pace when the older man reached out, grabbing a fistful of his jacket and Jacob had to stop himself from turning on instinct and breaking his nose. Instead he gave himself a moment to fight through the fog that was threatening his usually very quick mind and turned, levelling a glare that would have sent people scurrying away. Ressler met him with one of his own. Any argument that he was going to make wasn't going to make it through, do instead he sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "Let go. I'm going home."

"This conversation isn't over."

"Thrilling, then walk, but you touch me again and I will leave you in a heap on the sidewalk."

Ressler matched his speed surprisingly well, though he stumbled a couple times as he spoke. "What kind of person is capable of doing that anyway? Lying to someone they say they love like that… She trusted you and you went out of you way to keep it from her."

He kept going, but Jacob only heard every few words. It wasn't anything that he didn't know. Hell, it wasn't anything that wasn't whispered throughout the Post Office. Liz had been a topic of the rumours long before they had brought Jacob on, and while he was pretty sure that only the core of the team knew the details of what had really happened between he and Liz, that didn't stop people from talking. Several of them had seen his face when he had been in for questioning for his go-box, and for all he knew his photo might have been plastered on their board during various cases after he left. Ressler wasn't saying anything new, he was just intoxicated enough to say it to Jacob's face. Or back, as the younger man was currently trudging up the set of steps that led to his front door. He spun on Ressler so fast that the man stopped mid sentence. "You done?"

"You haven't even been listening."

"Oh I've heard you. You just seem to be a delusional drunk that thinks I give a damn about what you think about me."

He had his key out and was opening the door when Ressler took the first step up behind him. Jacob pushed it open and risked a glance back before stepping through it. He had planned to simply lock Ressler out and if he got himself arrested for making a scene, that would be his own damn fault. Jacob was going to bed. His mistake was in turning.

Ressler's expression was boiling and it looked like everything he had been holding back since Jacob had come back into the picture had been put on the table and the man in question hadn't responded as Ressler wanted him to. In fact, he'd blown him off. Jacob barely had time to dodge the first punch thrown and Ressler stumbled past him. Instincts kicked in through the buzz and Jacob took hold of the older man's jacket on his way by and directed him into the floor nose first. With a frustrated huff he closed the door behind him. "You actually make contact and you're going to regret it," he growled the warning dangerously.

"You think you're something, don't you?" Ressler snapped as he picked himself up.

"I know what I am. You seem to be the one questioning me right now." His own temper was flaring dangerously, but he forced himself to stay where he was. He wouldn't throw a punch he didn't need to, no matter how much he wanted to. Liz wouldn't have any patience for it, and he had promised her that he would try to at least act professional around the assistant director. Waylaying on him wasn't a great way to do that. Even so, there was no point now at shoving him out the door. It was time to get it all out in the open and _maybe_ they could work together, even if they hated each other more than before. "Go ahead, Ressler. You want to get it off your chest? You think I'm terrible for her? You and everyone else."

"Then maybe you should listen to-"

"You think you know me, don't you?" Jacob cut him off, drawing himself to his full height. "That you have me figured out."

All at once Ressler deflated. "Every time I think I do something new pops up. You... I warned her, and she knows it. You're a killer. A murderer. She deserves better than that."

"What? Like you?"

Ressler blinked at him, his expression startled like he thought no one saw it. He was good at hiding it, Jacob had to admit, but Donald Ressler didn't devote as much time and effort to any of his other teammates' personal lives as he did Liz's. There was something very subtle in it, possibly so much that Liz didn't even know it, but she had always had a blindspot for those closest to her. "I'm not-"

"Save it," Jacob snapped, moving to the kitchen and grabbing two bottles of water. He tossed one to Ressler and wouldn't have admitted the satisfaction he felt when the older man missed it, the alcohol making him clumsy.

"Liz is my _partner_ ," Ressler defended as he leaned to scoop up the bottle and just about toppled over for his efforts. He took a hard seat on the livingroom floor.

"Technically you're her boss now," the younger man pointed out and watched that particular understanding wash over him.

"Hell," the blond breathed. "You're right." If he didn't know better, Jacob thought this might have been the first time Ressler had actually let himself think about it. Great. That was really the last thing he wanted. Now Ressler had the idea in the forefront of his mind. What if he acted on it? "That bothers you, doesn't it?"

Jacob blinked, surprised by the moment of what sounded like clarity from the inebriated man. He found a pair of blue eyes watching him, still more than a little hazy, and he sighed, opening his water and wondering if he should have grabbed something stronger for this. Well, the good news was that it wasn't like Ressler would remember this conversation the next day anyway.

"Why?"

"Because she could do a lot better," Jacob confessed softly, his voice barely above a whisper. He wanted to be with her more than anything, but he knew what he was. He didn't need Ressler to remind him, which he did, even if it was just by standing as a stark reminder of everything Jacob could only pretend to be. He wasn't a good man, he didn't care about some overarching greater good that their team was doing, and he was there not because of his record of excellence, but because the FBI was terrified of letting a weapon like him - because nothing had really changed, if Jacob were honest with himself, he was still just a weapon in a different master's hands - fall into the wrong person's control. Like he was a dog to be kept on a leash. There were times - fewer with Liz with him now, but they were certainly still there - when doubt crept in and he worried that Liz had been lying to herself and that she had somehow convinced herself that he was more Tom than Jacob, and when she realized the truth she would leave again. It didn't help that Ressler was there, a shining example of the type of person Liz _could_ have in her life.

"You really do love her, don't you?"

"I do."

"Then why?"

Jacob moved around, taking a seat on the floor as well. The walk had helped clear his head a little, but the buzz wasn't entirely gone yet. "Because I was doing the best I could in an impossible situation. I couldn't tell her, and when she found out... I was trying to find some balance between protecting her and staying alive to do it. Even now, I'm not sure Liz gets how close she came to being the first one Berlin's people went after."

Ressler was watching him closely. "So you got Meera killed instead."

Jacob watched him, expression blank. "I'll choose Liz over anyone at any time. I haven't lied to you about that."

The older man flinched back very slightly at the icy tone. Finally he shook his head and sighed a little. "It's so much easier to see you as a threat," he admitted softly.

Jacob chuckled mirthlessly. "It be easier if the woman I love didn't like you so well."

Ressler leaned back, stretched out on the floor. "She doesn't see me like she sees you," he said as he did, and Jacob couldn't tell if it was defeat or resignation in his voice.

"Hey," the younger man grumbled sharply, nudging him. "Don't go to sleep on my floor." Ressler didn't respond and Jacob sighed heavily as he stood, managing to rouse him enough to get him to the couch. Well, at least he wasn't on his floor.

The former operative was digging in his closet for a blanket when he heard the sound of a key being put into the lock from the outside and the door opened. He looked up to find Hudson flying through the door, nearly pulling Liz off her feet. His ex wife was still dressed for her night out, but paused at the entry, noticing something was off immediately. "Babe, why is Ressler on your couch?"

"He got drunk and followed me home," Jacob answered as he stood, blanket in hand. "I didn't know you were coming over."

"I was going to surprise you," she told him with a shake of her head. "Did you get him drunk?"

A lie nearly danced off his tongue, but he stopped himself just in time and his ex rolled her eyes, pulling the blanket from him and moving over to the couch. She draped it over at the sleeping man. "You need anything, Ress?"

Ressler mumbled incoherently and turned over in his sleep. Jacob watched Liz make sure he was set, careful and attentive. He couldn't help the spark of jealousy that bubbled up and the conversation that he and Ressler had just had a few minutes before dug at uncertainties that he did his best to ignore on most days.

"Babe, you okay?" Liz asked quietly, suddenly standing in front of him. She reached up, her touch soft and he leaned into it, his eyes drifting closed as he did. Her palm lingered on the side if his face. "What's wrong?"

He forced his eyes open, not letting himself pause in case he talked himself out of it. "You and Ressler.. Were you... Did you ever... How do you see him?"

"Ress?" Liz asked, blinking at him. "He's my friend, my partner. He... Babe, are you drunk too?"

"No," he said a little too quickly and she laughed at him.

"Not entirely sober either though," she teased and tipped up on her toes to press a kiss to his lips. "Are you jealous?"

"Should I be?" he asked in a quietly serious voice.

Liz rolled her eyes, a little irritation lacing her voice. "Of Ressler? What the hell have you two been talking about tonight?"

"Nothing. Forget it," Jacob said and turned, starting for his bedroom and just barely dodging Hudson at his feet, happily prancing around.

"Wait," Liz called in a hushed tone so she wouldn't wake Ressler up. She grabbed Jacob's hand and followed him in, closing the door behind them. He turned to look at her and without any warning, she was in his arms, one hand around the back of his neck and pulling him closer into a kiss.

Jacob felt the rush of emotions that Liz couldn't always express in words or even in her everyday actions at times. The love, the rebuilding of trust, everything rushed through the kiss and it deepened, the two of them tumbling back onto his bed and she landed on top of him. The kiss grew more desperate and one of her hands gripped at his jacket that he still wore as if she worried he might slip away. Finally, it broke, and his eyes slid open to find her watching him. "I love you," she told him a little breathlessly. "You know that, don't you?"

Guilt washed through him and Jacob nodded.

She kissed him again, falling off to the side and he rolled to look at her. "Why did you ask that about Ressler?" He broke eye contact and she laced her fingers through his. "Talk to me?"

"It's... I don't know."

"Yes you do," she prompted.

"I guess it's just... You fell in love with Tom and while a lot of me went into that role, he was... better. He was a better man." The words sounded so strange coming from him. He had never cared about what kind of man he was before her, not if he got his job done. That's all that had mattered before Liz.

"I fell in love with _you_ ," she pressed. "And you're better than you give yourself credit for."

"You're biased."

"Maybe, but it's still true. I see it."

Jacob felt a smile tilt his lips and he leaned forward and kissed her. "You staying?" he asked quietly.

"I brought Hudson over didn't I? Pretty sure that means I have no intention of leaving tonight."

"Is that what that means?" he chuckled and kissed her again. She pulled him closer, hands moving to pull his jacket from his shoulders and she tossed it unceremoniously to the floor. He kicked his shoes off and let her pull him into the bed, his shirt being tugged off as he fell and her hushed laugh easing the pain that had weighed on him that evening. He knew that look that she had in her eyes. It was the same way she had looked at him before everything had fallen apart. It was the one she had worn when she had told her husband she loved him.

"I love you, Jacob," she murmured in his ear, his name pulling a smile from him.

"I love you too."

A sudden and happy bark accompanied a sudden jolt to the bed as Hudson joined them. "Really, dude?" Jacob laughed and received slobber across the face for his efforts.

Liz snorted. "Well, some things won't ever change."

Jacob was still smiling as he moved the dog over so that he wasn't in between them and pulled Liz close. Hudson huffed and sprawled across their legs. They didn't fight it, though, and Liz wrapped an arm around him as Jacob pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Night, babe," he mumbled, perfectly content to fall asleep just like that.

* * *

 

Jacob woke the next morning feeling better rested than he had in days. Liz was still curled up with him, one arm wrapped around his middle and her head tucked under his chin. Hudson was still draped across them, snoring softly.

He might have been content to lie there all morning like that if Liz hadn't stirred herself awake, instantly alerting the dog of it, which would in turn mean one of them would need to walk him out to the patch of grass before he peed on the floor.

"Too early," Liz groused as she tightened her grip on him.

"You want to take him out while I start breakfast?"

She groaned, but slowly untangled herself and grabbed grabbed a pair of shorts she kept there from a drawer. "Come on, drool machine," she mumbled and Hudson was already bounding to the bedroom door.

Jacob rolled out of bed and he reached for his discarded t-shirt before padding into the main area. Ressler was still passed out on the couch and Liz had not disturbed him. It wasn't until the bacon was sizzling loudly that the hungover assistant director groaned loudly and Jacob heard him sit up. "I fell asleep on your couch last night?"

"You fell asleep on my floor last night," Jacob corrected without missing a beat.

The sound Ressler made was miserable. "I don't... I followed you home, didn't I?" he managed, sounding like the night's events was coming back to him in bits and pieces.

"Bitching the whole way," Jacob confirmed and he laid the bacon out.

Ressler stood, moving slowly over to the kitchen. "I was out of line last night."

"Forget it."

"No, I was... It was inappropriate. Completely. Liz is-" He stopped, slightly bloodshot eyes wide as the door opened and Liz walked through it. He blinked at her and she looked between her former partner and Jacob as if she knew she'd just walked in in the middle of something.

"Morning, Ress."

"Morning..." he managed and glanced over at Jacob.

The younger man rolled his eyes. "If you think I'm not going to opening mock you for passing out on my floor after a couple drinks, you're going to be disappointed."

"It was more than a couple."

"You have no idea how many there were so you can't argue that."

Ressler cleared his throat awkwardly. "Listen I-"

"We're good," Jacob cut him off before he could blurt anything else out. "At least as good as we were before, for whatever that's worth."

Liz moved behind him and filled the coffee pot. "How do you like your eggs, Ressler?"

"I don't want to intrude."

"Too late for that," Jacob popped off and received a hard nudge to the ribs for his efforts.

"Don't worry about it. It was a last second decision for me to drop by anyway. Let the hangover fade before you leave."

"I guess I just thought..."

"That I'd moved in?" Liz asked with a little mischief in her eyes. "Not yet."

She touched Jacob's back to keep him from running into her as she slipped behind him in the narrow kitchen. Her fingers lingered there for half a moment more than they might have needed to and he sighed. "Scrambled work?" he asked, having already lost the battle before he fought it.

"Eggs?"

"It helps the hangover."

"I'm guessing you don't get those?"

Jacob smirked and cracked an egg into the pan.

"Doesn't it make you just hate him?" Liz laughed. "But turn around is fair. He gets stuck on hangover duty since he's fine the next morning."

Ressler actually chuckled at that one and shook his head, reaching for the water bottle he hadn't bothered with the night before. Liz chattered on, and if she knew exactly what Ressler was trying to apologise for, her ex wasn't sure. She just seemed happy that the two weren't sniping back and forth at each other. It wasn't like a night of drunken confessions would set the two men directly onto the path of friendship, but it had pushed Jacob into facing the uncertainties that he had been burying for longer than he cared to admit, and that had to be worth something. Liz loved him. All of him. He would never be comfortable with another man having feelings for her like he was sure Ressler did, but choices were being made and he had to choose to trust Liz, just as she was choosing to trust him.

* * *

 

Notes: I am of the fairly firm opinion that Ressler has feelings for Liz, even if he doesn't admit it, even to himself. I think Jacob does though, and I think that's one of the reasons that he dislikes him so much. I really enjoyed writing this piece because a lot of tiny little head canons about the way that I think Jacob might see the situation could come together into an actual little character piece. Nothing helps further that along like whiskey :P

Here's the question that I'm wrestling with now. Ressler will remain interwoven into these stories, but it is and will remain a Keen2 story with Jacob and Liz moving forward together, but would anyone be interested in seeing a situation in which Liz found out about this conversation and getting some of her point of view on it? I don't necessarily have a story in mind yet for that, but I'm curious if I should even hand the plot bunny a carrot or anything. Thoughts?

 


End file.
